Twelve Cardinal Rules

The following are twelve rules I wrote. I realize these rules may seem somewhat controversial and judgmental, however, I believe they include the necessary guidelines for maintaining friendship.

Twelve Cardinal Rules (Retitled How to Play in My Sandbox)
By Elizabeth Gerringer

1. Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you, but don't expect that because you are nice to others, they will be nice to you. If we are kind to someone, someone will be kind to us, but not just because we are seen being kind before others. If we do a favor for someone, do not expect gratitude, and do not remind or ask them if they appreciated the favor. Wait for them to tell you.

2. Warn your friends if they are in trouble or in danger, or warn anyone before they are attacked, which means to warn them before and not after. A sense of fairness means I need to be told something is wrong before I am accused of doing something wrong. This does not mean disobeying laws or imposing morality. It only means others have no right to assume a unilateral decision over our lives.

3. I need to keep my promise. This does not mean that because another person says we agree to something that we do agree, or because we are listening to someone, we agree with what they say. It only means that we are trying to understand their point of view, even though their view may be different from ours.

4. It is as blessed to receive as to give. Sometimes people need to give but this does not mean we are entitled to receive what another person has unless he gives it to us. If someone gives me something based on some assumption of favor and the favor isn't rendered, or I was not told it was based on the assumption of favor, he has no right to ask for it to be returned. If you borrow something from me and loan it to someone else, you should tell them it belongs to me, especially a book I may have written, and I have a right to ask for the money from profits gained from it.

5. If someone asks me to work and I work and they are not happy with the work, they should pay me or return the work.

6. If you invite me to your house as a guest for a couple of days, you have no right to charge me money unless you tell me in advance and I agree to pay you.

7. If you are a guest in my house and are in an accident, I am responsible. If I am a guest in your house, and I am in an accident, you are responsible.

8. People have no right to assume that others have a problem just because they want to know something someone else knows, and people have no right to assume that if we have accomplishments and are of a certain gender, that others of the same gender or another gender are entitled to the same thing.

9. It is wrong to punish good and to reward evil. Given a choice between rewarding good and punishing evil, it is best to reward good. We should forgive others, but this does not mean that our forgiveness gives them the right to commit the error a second time. We could forgive any number of times, but forgiveness should not be taken for granted.

10. People who violate laws should not be deciding on their own jury. Violation of the law means to be advised it is a law, to disregard the law, to be apprehended, tried, and convicted by a jury of at least nine, and for the case to be subjected to all available appeals.

11. A person who associates with a person who is a suspect or accused of a crime should not be considered guilty of anything as a result of friendship with that person.

12. When a person confesses a sin, then the person to whom the confession is made is not obligated to reveal the sin to anyone who could cause harm to anyone. A crime is different from a sin because a crime is harm to others and a sin is harm to ourselves.